How To Deal With Anger

Anger is a dangerous emotion.

Almost nothing is done right with anger flowing through your veins.

If that's so then why is it that we even feel angry in the first place? Your guess is probably right, when we're angry we're ready to fight, and our adrenaline pumps ramp up their output, our blood flow skyrockets and we enter fight mode, everything's fair game, no holding back now.

But nowadays, when we get angry we have to learn to suppress it and not act on it. Which we do. However, the line we draw in not acting on anger is violence. But there are so many more outlets for anger to show itself than that, most of which are just as harmful.

These include drugs, alcohol, self-destructive behavior (i.e. driving too fast), shouting, rushed decisions, you get the idea. So in reality, we just learned how not to be violent, but how do we stop anger from hurting us in other ways? How do we deal with anger?

Shut The F**k Up

As I said before, when angry we enter in fight mode, no holding back. We aren't good at rationalizing when we're angry, and words, once said, cannot be taken back. So before you decide to speak, shut the f up. Think about what you're going to say, if it's something that you would say tomorrow morning or if you're saying it cos you're angry so might as well.

Because if you didn't say it before, there's probably a good reason you held yourself back when you were thinking straight. Maybe you don't want to break up with them even though it really feels like you want to now.

It's easy to give threats too, and even those have dire consequences. Obviously, there are the legal consequences, it's illegal to threaten, but on top of that, if you're really agitated, that threat that you're saying might just be taken up as fact. And you can count on people on protecting themselves.

Before you talk, think, or don't speak at all.


Breathe in, breathe out, count to ten. Take a step back and let your tempers cool off. It's never good to act on anger, so let it pass. Take a walk, get yourself out of that environment before you do something you're going to regret.

Remember, being angry hurts you more than it does them.

Walking away isn't stopping communication by the way. It's ensuring proper communication, so long as you do continue it after. In fact, don't let the discussion end without resolve and forget about it. Come to a conclusion always, just not when you're angry. If you sit on it, it's only going to get worse.

Change Environment

If you find yourself angry constantly it might be the environment you're in that's making you prone to it.

When the levels of stress around you are high you will find your own stress rising too and there's very little you can do about it. Alternatively, it could be what's around you that is causing your stress to rise. If this is the case, leave. I know it's easier said than done, but there is very little you can do to stop your stress from rising, not while you're in that environment at least.

Sometimes the best course of action is to let go and come back later.

These Activities

  1. Exercise (gym, running, martial arts)

  2. Relaxation exercises (breathing exercises, yoga)

  3. Meditation

  4. Communication skills (talking always helps)

  5. Mood enhancement techniques (I talk a lot about these in my blog)

  6. Work (offers a productive distraction)

  7. Self-reflection (understand why you're angry)

  8. Addressing your wounds (wounds that may make you vulnerable and angry if tempered with)

. . .

Anger is a natural response in us but seldom it is a good response. It can offer us a good insight into ourselves if we realize why we're angry, what wounds are touchy, and if we must fight, it is helpful to make us last longer. That's about the extent of its utility. Nothing smart, however, is done with anger, we must learn to deal with it better than just not being violent. Anger hurts us in more ways than that so we must be careful with what we do while angry. The best course of action is to let it fade away, then find a solution to the problem.


Hi, I'm Matthew, my mission is to spread knowledge about motivation, productivity, and enabling people to achieve the best that they can be! I have a vast background in psychology and a passion for self-improvement. I literally can't remember a time when I didn't have a psychology book in my hands. On top of that, I've traveled around the world from a very young age, and seen many different courses of life, forming friendships with highly successful people, as well as people who are willing to do anything to make ends meet. My own life took me down a roller coaster of highs and lows, and I'm forever grateful that I've been able to overcome everything it threw at me. Now I want to take the opportunity to give back, and help others learn tools and methods for becoming who they were born to be!