Just reading the title alone you probably completely disagree with it, and understandably so. No one likes bullies, in fact, bullying is a huge problem, which reportedly affects one out of every five students (20.2%). There are countless organizations fighting it, such as BullyStop back home, in Italy, for which my brother is a touring speaker. The aim of these organizations is to help victims of bullying overcome their experiences, but also to help the bullies overcome the reason why they resorted to this detrimental activity. However, as I always say, everything has a meaning behind it, a lesson, and so does this. Before I continue, know that I too was bullied, and I too hated it, but the fact is that sometimes they're just telling you the fucking truth!
Kids Can Be Mean
If I had a penny for every time I heard this statement I could probably bribe kids to stop being mean. It's true, kids can be mean. By kids, though, I mean little kids, children. The cool thing about them is that in their innocence they don't know right from wrong, no one taught them yet that there are some things you just shouldn't say to people. But because of that kids are super honest, brutally so at times. If you stink, they'll tell you. If you're weird they'll tell you. If you have something wrong, they'll tell you, and they'll tell you in the most honest way possible. This is also true for bullies, they don't care about your feelings so they tell you everything that's wrong with you with absolutely no filters. Granted, there are better ways to convey that message, but the core of it remains the same whether they're telling you as bullies or friends.
Honesty Is a Virtue
Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending bullies in any way. But you gotta admire their honesty. And frankly, I'd much rather people tell me things the way they are instead of beating around the bush. If I'm being too much, tell me quickly and tell me frankly. Don't sugar coat it.
I spent a lot of time regretting and resenting my bullies until I found out that they were actually right! I was exactly who they said I was. After learning that I integrated all their hurtful comments and worked on myself until they would have nothing else to say about me but praises!
Thank, Don't Resent
I know I'm not the only one who's bettered myself because of them, chances are you've done it too. Thank your bullies for being your mirror, for making you understand what people hated about you, and for making you become who you are today. You've improved, or if you haven't yet, you will. Once you get to that point the next step is now to move forward. Leave your past behind and move on, look ahead, stare into the distance and aim for what's to come. The first step in doing that is to stop resenting your past. You will never be able to change it, even if you fall upon a time machine, what you've experienced will always be there with you, but don't let it control you still. Don't hold grudges and bitterness towards them. Be yourself now!
. . .
It's not your fault that people were mean to you, but it's for damn sure your responsibility to figure out how to take that pain and make a happy life. Regret never leads to happiness, neither does anger, and resentment, and bitterness, nor hate. Your bullies shaped you in some way or another, you can never forget the meanness of some people, so integrate them, make them your roots, and grow into the tallest, greenest tree and spread your branches far and wide! Take in what they told you and leap, make them your teachers, and bring truth to the saying that the apprentice surpasses the master!
Hi, I'm Matthew, my mission is to spread knowledge about motivation, productivity, and enabling people to achieve the best that they can be! I have a vast background in psychology and a passion for self-improvement. I literally can't remember a time when I didn't have a psychology book in my hands. On top of that, I've traveled around the world from a very young age, and seen many different courses of life, forming friendships with highly successful people, as well as people who are willing to do anything to make ends meet. My own life took me down a roller coaster of highs and lows, and I'm forever grateful that I've been able to overcome everything it threw at me. Now I want to take the opportunity to give back, and help others learn tools and methods for becoming who they were born to be!