You shouldn't be here.
No really, you shouldn't be alive.
The chances alone that you would be born are 0.(2500 zeros)1. The chances that you made it this far? How old are you? 20? 30? 50? And you didn't get run over, you didn't get sick, you didn't fall and break your neck fatally. That's incredible! I really mean it. But that's the easy stuff!
How about all the stuff you had to overcome? All those sleepless nights you spend wondering "why me?" all the obstacles that presented themselves to you that you, by grit alone, managed to get over in one way or another. That is some amazing stuff!
You. Are. Stronger. Than. You. Think!
Let's Talk About The Zeigarnik Effect
The Zeigarnik Effect is the tendency to remember our uncompleted tasks more than our completed ones. Full disclosure, that's where the definition of the effect stops. But I believe that expanding this definition to remembering failures more than successes is a logical step, though unresearched. Whatever your opinion, it is true that we remember our failures more readily than our successes.
As a result, we tend to feel like we're failing over and over again. But this just isn't the case. Life is not easy, and making it so far as to even be alive reading this requires a huge deal of success. But the real victories are your achievements. Not just being alive but being okay. Having a home, or a car, or a family, a job. Being a productive member of society in one way or the other, that is a success. One that you had to work hard for. Don't downplay this.
It's easy to count each time that we failed, but what would happen if you took a step back? If you counted your achievements, like all of them, without being afraid of sounding cocky. Will they amount to more than your failures? I don't know you, but I know the answer. And it's not "No".
Remembering Your Strengths
Strength has become a cliché descriptor, but don't let that undermine its reality. Everyone has had their fair share of burdens to carry, some more than others, what were yours? Do you still remember them? Because you should. Do you remember how you overcame them? The perseverance you used, the tenacity and the grit, the resourcefulness? What are the burdens you feel now? How can you re-use your strengths this time? Or what other skills do you need to acquire to overcome these new challenges?
Ask yourself these questions, let yourself remember how you got this far, to make it where you are now, before things went to shit again. And even if things are alright now, ask yourself these questions for when something else inevitably happens.
The events that happen to you aren't what defines you, your reaction to them is what defines you. So how do you react in the face of uncertainty? Where is the strength you've used your whole life? And how can you call upon it as soon as you need it? Jot it down. Make its presence known!
. . .
Sometimes a good pep talk is all we need to get out of our heads. I wish someone had this pep talk with me, so I leave this here, for anyone who needs to hear it, read it, or what have you. I leave this here for you. For you to remember who you are and what you've done. Maybe this will help you as much as it would have helped me.
Hi, I'm Matthew, my mission is to spread knowledge about motivation, productivity, and enabling people to achieve the best that they can be! I have a vast background in psychology and a passion for self-improvement. I literally can't remember a time when I didn't have a psychology book in my hands. On top of that, I've traveled around the world from a very young age, and seen many different courses of life, forming friendships with highly successful people, as well as people who are willing to do anything to make ends meet. My own life took me down a roller coaster of highs and lows, and I'm forever grateful that I've been able to overcome everything it threw at me. Now I want to take the opportunity to give back, and help others learn tools and methods for becoming who they were born to be!